Minneapolis/St. Paul July 15, 1999

This week we received word that we have been assigned space on the 14^th floor of the Regal Minneapolis Hotel for the IAC Hospitality Room.

We still need "start-up funds" for the Dance and Hospitality Room. We will start selling tickets for the Dance on Sunday. IAC buttons will also be available for a $2 donation.

What is the 13^th Step? Cindy A. says, "It's where you lay in bed and talk about the other 12".

She also says that she got to A.A. through the 13^th step and that it was absolutely necessary, as it was the only thing she could understand at that point in her life. My own experience in being introduced to the program was much the same.

So, what are we to do? Sex feels good and people are going to do it. Can we (or do we want to) stop it? Why is 13^th stepping looked upon as wrong? Is it only newcomers that are 13^th stepped?

My own belief concerning the 13^th step is somewhat different.

To me, what makes the 13^th step unacceptable is that it is taking advantage of someone who is vulnerable. It applies to anyone in the program, whether they have 2 months or 2 years - or more. We all become vulnerable at times in our sobriety and can easily be taken advantage of, whether through sex or through other actions.

We also all have character defects and survived our using by taking advantage of others. That is one of the reasons why the 4^th - 9^th Step are so important. My own experience with the 7^th Step was not only to pray for the defects to be removed, but to also learn how to act more productively and morally.

Although it is true that someone new in the program is probably more likely to be vulnerable, it is also true that someone with many years in the program can be just as vulnerable. My job was to learn to treat everyone - including people not in the program - with respect. It is up to each of us to decide whether we are treating people with respect, but we can get help from our sponsors. Part of being respectful, to me, is acting out of love. If I do that, I will not take advantage, whether it is sexual, financial, or anything else that can be detrimental to the other person.

MinneSober, the Twin Cities GLBT Roundup, will be held October 8, 9, & 10, 1999, at the Regal Minneapolis Hotel. For more information, please contact Dana G. or Greg G.

In the near future, there will be some additions to the GLBT in A.A. Web Site. There will be the addition of pages for MinneSober, Pride Alumni Association, Upcoming Events, and News about the International Convention.

If your group has any events coming up, please notify us, and we will add them to the Web Site. You may also want to print copies of the pages of the Web Site and post at your meeting. Also, please check for errors - I'm new to working on the Web Site, and have 'lost' information while trying to make changes. Any corrections or additions will be welcomed.

We are also working on a page for loners in this area to make use of the site for communicating with other loners, or others in the GLBT sober community.

We would like to thank all of you who have donated time and money to help us carry the message. Thank you to the groups that have included us in the 7^th Tradition or who have pledged set amounts each month. Also, thank you to the individuals who have pledged monthly amounts to keep the Web Site up and running over the next year.

If you or your group would like to make a donation for the International Convention in the year 2000, or to GLBT in A.A, please send them to the following address:

IAC (the International Advisory Council for Homosexual Men and Women in Alcoholics Anonymous) have the new edition of the World Directory of GLBT meetings. They are $5 each. The IAC newsletter, IACTIVITY is free, but a donation of $5 is suggested to help with expenses including postage. Both can be ordered from IAC: a non-profit corporation, P.O. Box 18212, Washington, DC 20036-8212.

Please check to see if your group is including IAC in the 7^th Tradition. Some members also make a special gift to IAC on their anniversary date of one or two dollars per year. IAC offers many services for our community. Please support them.