Who is Responsible from ACA

People from dysfunctional background/families guess at what is normal! I did not have a clue at what was normal until I checked our ACA. I had been taught all my life to be responsible for, instead of to, others. This simple knowledge made a world of difference in my life.

Information from ACA (Adult Children of Alcoholics).

When I Feel Responsible FOR Others:

I fix - protect - rescue - control - carry their feelings - don't listen

I feel - tired - anxious - fearful - liable

I am concerned with: the solution - answers - circumstances - being right - details - performance

I am a manipulator

I expect the person to live up to my expectations.

When I Feel Responsible TO Others:

I show empathy - encourage - share - confront - level - am sensitive - listen

I feel - relaxed - free - aware - high self-esteem

I am concerned with : relating person to person - feelings - the person

I believe if I just share myself, the other person has enough to make it

I am a helper-guide

I expect the person to be responsible for himself and his own actions

I can trust and let go