Cindy A. - November 11, 1978 - Founders' Day
"And you see, you have prepared me so well for whatever I have to do in sobriety! You have helped me learn that I am powerless over alcohol. That my life is unmanageable, that it doesn't have to be manageable, because, since I am being slowly restored to sanity, I can give it to God.
"I can turn my will and my life over to God as I understand him and he will do it just fine. And he will help me when I have to hurt and He will help me when I have to grow. And He will help me through the steps that require I do a searching and fearless moral inventory and share it with another person. And, through that inventory process, see what I have tried to share with you today, that there are no mistakes. And to realize that I have never, ever, been punished for my defects of character, but that I have been punished by them. They do just fine in helping me let go absolutely. I will and I do let go of my defects of character whenever I can - not a minute before, not a minute too late.
"As a matter of fact, the reason I have to let God do it is, I don't know for sure what is and what isn't a defect of character. You see, I realize today that being willing to go to any lengths to get what you have was a part of my life on the streets. I did that quite well out there. You have helped me learn to do it more productively in here!
"My total obsession with drugs and alcohol has been changed to an obsession with sobriety and the twelve steps. They're everywhere! They work for everything! They do it all for me and through me.
"Through making amends to those I've harmed, I've found a new me. I find it may or maynot make a bit of difference for them, but it makes all the difference to me. To make the amends wherever possible is one of the most remarkable experiences I've ever had. The change it brings about in me is total. It helps me change my shame to dignity, my hopelessness into faith.
"And then you provide for me the last three steps, which are a part of my life daily.
And through the Twelfth Step, through sharing my experience, strength and hope with you, with newcomers to Alcoholics Anonymous, with wet drunks, I have found out so may things. I have found that the most degrading, shameful, humiliating experiences in my life are, today, the greatest gifts that I have. They are the things I hold out to you when you are new, and say - 'It ain't no big deal'.
"I know it hurts, let it hurt. Let it bleed and let me love you. Let it out, 'cause we wont send you away no matter what. We will very simply, love you through it all. Whatever it is, however it hurts, we will love you all the way into who you are. And we are so magnificent in sobriety! We do such incredible things. Our lives open up in such amazing ways.
"And, as I'm beginning to learn, I learn my greatest lessons through pain, and when I learn through pain, I have available to me the greatest joy I have ever known. I have available to me the experience of sobriety in Alcoholics Anonymous, one day at a time, one step at a time, one minute at a time.
"And you see, having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, I try very simply, to share who and what I am today, because whatever it is, and it is changeable on a daily basis, whatever it is, it seems to be OK with you. And you have given me the gift of letting it be Ok with me. And just letting it be, and letting it grow from God, and from within me and from within you. And to share it whenever possible, wherever possible, because wherever I am - whatever spot I occupy in this universe is exactly where I'm suppose to be - it is God's spot for me.
"And I am very glad that there is a chair for me in Alcoholics Anonymous. That you have kept it warm, even when I went out. And that you have kept it open for me, no matter what. Even when I lost my dignity, my peace, my serenity, my hope, IN SOBRIETY, you kept my chair warm - and you put your arms around me and you said, "Walk with us - walk through it - we will love you together"
"We are in love, in God's Love, in AA's love, in the most perfect love I have ever known -
"We are, very simply, in love together."